Etiquette, or Try Not To Choke The Slow Playing Bastards

Played yesterday, and played very well if I say so myself. I set a personal best at one of my regular courses. I averaged less than 2 putts per hole, and I met some great guys who were just great fun to play a round with. Add in the perfect weather, and you have an amazing day.

Or at least I did on the front. Teeing off the back we stopped at the clubhouse for dogs and drinks, and got stuck behind the single slowest foursome. Ever.

How slow? Standing in the fairway waiting for them to leave the green so we could hit up, three groups were lined up on the tee behind us, including a threesome of 60-something women.

On the 11th hole. Yup, they caused a four group backup on the back nine, in two holes.

Then they had the audacity to ask us not to hit up on them.

Not believing that they could possibly be so slow, and knowing that this particular course has a reputation for slow play on the weekends, I had assumed that there was a group in front of them.

There wasn't. We had all hit up to the green at 11, and when we pulled up around the dogleg and could get a look at the next hole, I saw for the first time that there was absolutely noone ahead of them. The 12th is a par five, and it was completely deserted from tee to green.

They hadn't even teed off yet, either. We all skipped ahead to 13.

That is simply inexcusible. They each had to be taking at least double par, and marking the ball for every putt, including the two-footers. Yes, they marked and plumb bobbed two foot putts for triple bogey. You shouldn't have to rush- golf is a leisurely game, a good long walk through fescue and heather, uphill and down, through trees and sand, around ponds and along streams- but you owe it to your fellow golfers not to hold them up.